Signs vs. Feelings

I received an uninvited, yet very explicitly worded message from Jesus to sell my home in Fairfield County. He woke me up in the middle of the night to deliver it, so I guess he thought it was important. In the weeks and months to follow I asked for lots of verification that I had heard the message correctly, hoping for a big “No, you were mistaken.” Instead, what followed were more messages along with feelings, and what, at times, I mistakenly took for signs.

Once I had acquiesced to moving, my husband and I narrowed our search down to two possible new homes; however, we were having trouble deciding which we should select. In meditation I heard Jesus say to me: I’m bringing you home. Which home? How was I to choose between these two properties? His response prompted me to think about the feelings I had had when I visited each property and how easy it is to miss a feeling. When I had visited the Litchfield County property, tears of knowing filled my eyes as I stepped from the main house, a 1760 farmhouse that I hated, into the herb garden. Why did I have tears there? They were the same tears, accompanied by the same feelings I had when I visited the colleges that my son and daughter would eventually attend. I knew during the visits that those were the schools that were right for my children and sure enough those were the colleges to which they applied, were accepted and happily attended. This feeling was curiously absent when I had visited the Washington property. Washington is the “better” town. The property was gorgeous and it had all the elements I was looking for, including a stream, a pond and open pastures. The literature even described it as a sanctuary that would be good for writers and artists. The owners had crucifixes (not a symbol that speaks to me but a symbol of Jesus nonetheless) in every bedroom and pictures of Mother Mary on the fridge. “Signs” at the Litchfield County property were the presence of two apple orchards and a snakeskin reminiscent of the Garden of Eden. Mmmm, this was interesting. Were these signs at all, and if so, what is the difference between a sign and a feeling? Should one take precedence over the other? Author Gregg Braden says that feelings are the language of the universe. I asked Jesus these questions and he told me: You are to follow your heart.

I started to examine my feelings and realized that they can be so fleeting. They come and go so quickly that if one is not paying attention, one can easily miss them. Then it occurred to me that there was a feeling I’d almost missed regarding the Washington property. Although it had all the right features and it was in the right town, there was a fleeting feeling as I walked the property of “too much water.” I had felt it rise up from my heart to the base of my throat. I had wanted to ignore it because I thought it was absurd. How could there be too much water? I pushed aside the feeling and forgot about it until it came back to me during a meditation. I was shocked to remember it. The property was being sold at a rock-bottom price because the owners were ready to move on. My eyes and my brain told me this was the place, and my heart and my intuition told me it wasn’t. But there were all those signs—the words in the brochures and the crucifixes. I consulted with my daughter whose answer was brilliant. She simply said, “Mom, signs speak to your mind. Feelings are of the heart.”

As discussed in last month’s blog, signs are valid when you specifically ask for one, which in the situation above I did not. Thankfully, I had my daughter to make this subtle yet critical distinction. So, pay attention to those tears that seemingly spring from nowhere. They are the result of the enormousness of your heart energy trying to speak to your mind. It is so vast and overwhelming that you get “all choked up.” Oftentimes, that is how you know it is your heart speaking to you—and feel free to ask for signs as verification.