Fear

Linda and I were invited to lead a Meditation for World Peace on the main stage of the Healing Garden at Mysteryland, an electronic music, arts and culture festival. I have always envisioned doing the meditation at a concert venue, so when the unlikely offer came my way I figured it was the Universe’s way of saying that It was in agreement. My job was to say, “Yes!” I did my part and thought nothing of it until a few days before the event—that’s when my fears flooded in.

What was I thinking signing up two beyond-middle-aged women for an electronic music festival with 16,000 people? I hate crowds. How would we lug our boxes of books from the parking lot to the Healing Garden? Neither of us is strong. What were we going to do in the midst of a rave? This was far outside our comfort zones.  Then I recalled something I’d read by Pema Chödrön reminding me to allow my fears to be with me; to simply observe them without judgment. This practice brought with it a feeling of inner peace; and with that my fears dissolved into excitement at the thought of a new experience.

In the end, my anxiety was completely unfounded and, as is so often the case, the anticipation was worse than the actual event. We never encountered the crowds of people I so feared. Synchronicity guided our day as happens when following the path set forth by the Universe and, apparently, when releasing fears. We did not need to lug our books as a golf cart driven by our Healing Garden contact showed up just as we finished checking in (thank you Linda for spotting that). My daughter and her friends came to support us. With them in the audience Linda and I conducted the Meditation for World Peace and sent healing energy to all those present and all those on the grounds of Mysteryland, which took place at the site of the original ’69 Woodstock. We later conducted healing circles for all the kids who came into our assigned tepee (yes, we sat inside a tepee and for those of you who know us, you will know that is also outside our comfort zone—literally). Kids came and went like flowing water; some were on drugs, some were not; all of them were wonderful, loving human beings.

I learned some important lessons about being with, and accepting, my fears. First, I learned, yet again, about having compassion for myself. Second, I found that once I accepted my fears they disappeared. Third, once my fears disappeared they were replaced by a feeling of deep love for, and unity with, the kids in attendance—a step I wasn’t expecting. I was reminded that my fear takes up space that can otherwise be freed up for love. When connecting to Love we have nothing to fear; but if fears do arise, simply allow. They too shall pass, and what endures will once again be the Love that is you.